The title of this post is also the title of an album by Against Me! I've chosen this title because it aptly describes my feelings at this point in life. At some point between my senior year of High School in 2005 and now, I lost my passion in life and knowledge of who I am and who I wanted to become, what I wanted to devote my energy, time, and life to, and how I was going to achieve this goal. I've watched myself deteriorate from an impressive, strongly willed, outspoken and diversely interested person to a worn down, complacent, underachieving (in the sense of personal goals, not on some bullshit official gradation like school or work) lump.
I wanted to prove to people and the world that the assumptions and prejudgments passed on me were wrong and that I; and for that matter anyone, could do anything, limited only by the constrains of my mind and body, and that I didn't have to play the "you fit in this box" game. Somewhere along the way I shut off my head and went on auto-pilot, and bought into the accepted method of becoming successful in life. Big mistake.
I hope that in merely recognizing this fact, I will be on the road to recovery. However, to bring this post back to Against Me! for a moment, I hope the trend doesn't continue as the lyrical content and attitude of their albums have. By this statement I am referring to their new album "White Crosses," and its disaffection and disgust with former ideals and values.
To good friends and better days,
- Mike
